


Shades of Red

by lionessvalenti



Category: Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015)
Genre: Brainwashing, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-29
Updated: 2017-09-29
Packaged: 2019-01-06 17:06:27
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,358
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12215148
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lionessvalenti/pseuds/lionessvalenti
Summary: Finn doesn't remember hurting anyone. He doesn't remember what was done to him. But he's going on a mission to find out.





	Shades of Red

**Author's Note:**

  * For [jiokra](https://archiveofourown.org/users/jiokra/gifts).



Someone was drilling a hole in his head. Finn tried to stop them, but his arms were strapped down. He couldn't scream, though the pain was immeasurable. It was a hot wave from his head, moving through every nerve ending in his body. He could barely breathe. His teeth clattered together from the vibration, and he bit his tongue. His mouth flooded with blood.

"Stop," he mumbled. His mouth felt sticky and dry.

"He's awake," said a voice, sounding very far away.

"Keep going," another voice said. Finn recognized that voice, but the pain and vibration kept him from putting a face with it. It had no face. He could only see bright lights and red spots filled his vision.

Music began to play.

Finn recognized the song, but he couldn't place how he knew it. It was a distraction. He began to hum along.

* * *

"Finn! Finn! Finn, snap out of it!"

He was on the ground. He wasn't strapped down in the room, but outside. Poe had him pinned to the ground, and was screaming in his face.

"What's going on?" Finn asked.

"I could ask you that!" Poe said. He wasn't yelling anymore, but his eyes were wide with worry. He studied Finn's face for a long moment and then sat back, releasing Finn from his hold. "What the hell just happened?"

Finn sat up and surveyed the scene around him. There was a blaster on the ground. Jess was holding a bloody piece of cloth to Snap's arm, but both of them were staring at him like they'd never seen him before. Like he was just another stormtrooper.

"I -- I don't know." Finn scrambled to his feet and backed up a few steps. "I'm sorry, I just--" As his words left him, he turned and fled. He'd been _asleep_ , but now it was midday. What had been going on all morning? What had he done?

"Finn!" It was Poe. "Finn, wait!"

Finn stopped. He didn't turn, but waited for Poe to catch up to him. He wanted to run more. He couldn't stay where he couldn't trust his own mind.

"What happened?" Poe asked again as he reached Finn in the empty hallway. He was so close, his hands wrapping around Finn's forearms to keep him from running again. Beads of sweat clung to his upper lip. "Tell me from the start."

"You're going to have to tell me." Finn trembled. "The last thing I remember was going to bed last night. I don't remember any of it."

Poe's eyes widened, but his voice remained steady as he replied, "I didn't see you until after lunch, and I knew you weren't right, but it wasn't until you came out to the hangar that... you had the blaster. You didn't say anything, you just started shooting. Not at anyone in particular, just wildly."

He couldn't remember any of that, but at the same time, Finn could feel the weight of the blaster in his hand. He'd gotten it from the armory under his own name. "Can't get out of practice," he'd said to the woman who checked it out for him. It was like a dream he suddenly remembered. His head pounded, and for a moment, he wondered if he might faint.

Finn pulled his gaze up from the floor and looked at Poe. "What's happening to me?"

Poe wrapped an arm around Finn's shoulders and pulled him close. "I don't know, but we're going to talk to someone who might."

* * *

The expression on General Organa's face never changed while Finn and Poe recounted their parts of the story. Even after they were finished, she was silent for nearly a minute. Finn clenched his fists at his sides to keep from speaking up, from defending himself to her, but she commanded respect in a way that kept his mouth closed.

"Finn, I don't believe you intended to hurt anyone today," General Organa said finally. "You've proven yourself to be a powerful asset to our cause. This sounds to me like you've been victim to a sort of brainwashing."

Finn's stomach dropped to the floor. "Brainwashing?"

Poe reached over and grabbed Finn's hand. If the General noticed, she didn't let on.

"It's common in the stormtrooper ranks, but this is... a specialized sort. A program placed deeply in your mind to be opened at specific trigger. I've heard about this before, but I've never seen it in action. We need to get the program out."

In the back of his mind, Finn could hear a song, like something maybe the mother he couldn't remember sang to him before he was taken. His mouth tasted like copper coins.

"I'll take him to the med-bay, General," Poe said.

General Organa shook her head. "I don't believe they'll be able to help with this."

"Then what do we do?"

"Rey," Finn said. He looked up at the General. "I need to get Rey. And Luke Skywalker."

Her expression shifted into sadness, but she nodded. "The deep layers needed to execute this sort of violent program, especially into the mind of someone who has been resistant to the other brainwashing techniques to be a stormtrooper, had to have been the work of someone wielding the dark side of the Force. I think it will take the Force to remove it."

"I'll take him right now," Poe said. He released Finn's hand and stood. "I have the map. I'll prep a ship. I'll get BB-8 and we'll go now."

"No."

Both Poe and General Organa looked to Finn. He was surprised at the sound of his own voice. He sounded strong, and not scared at all.

"I'll get you there faster than anyone else," Poe said, sitting down again so he was at eye level with Finn. "And, frankly, after what happened up on the ground, I may be the only pilot here who still trusts you."

"And what if I'm not worthy of that trust? What if I get the trigger again and I kill you? Or I fly us straight to the First Order? The Resistance can't risk their best pilot for me." Finn took a shaky breath. "I can't risk it."

"Finn's right," General Organa said. "Dameron, you get him a ship and you show him how to fly it. And keep a tracker on it, so you can see where he is at all times."

Poe hesitated, his face flush with displeasure, but he nodded.

"You're dismissed."

* * *

The ship was simple. You punched in the coordinates and the ship did the rest, barring incident. Finn hoped there wouldn't be an incident.

"I guess I'm gonna go," Finn said. "I need to figure this out before anyone else gets hurt."

"Hey." Poe took Finn gently by the front of his coat and pulled him close. "I've had this guy in my head before, so I know it's nasty. It rattles around in your brain and doesn't let go too easy. They put this in there, specifically for you to hurt someone, so it might be torture."

Finn nodded He had the feeling he'd been tortured already. "You know I want you to come, right, Poe?" He was so close, he could smell Poe, that familiar scent of leather and smoke. "I just can't risk you getting hurt, not by me. Or... some... version of me they made."

"I know." Poe reached up and placed his hands on either side of Finn's face. "Hey. You come back, okay? Or I'm going to come get you." He leaned in and kissed Finn gently on the mouth.

Finn leaned into him, pulling Poe closer. For a moment, the fear and pain faded away, and everything was in this kiss. He didn't want to let go, but this gave him all the more reason to leave.

Poe broke the kiss, but didn't move away. He rested his forehead to Finn's. "There's more where that came from. When you get back. I believe in you, Finn. You got this."

For the first time, maybe ever, Finn's soul was light. He actually laughed. "You better believe I'm coming back"

Poe grinned and kissed him again.


End file.
